In India, marriage is one of the only dreams women are taught to have since childhood. They might not be forced to get education but they have to be married at the right age. Now this concept of right age differs from family to family. For some, 18year is the right age and for most 22-23 is, despite of asking if the girl herself wishes to marry or not. Every person grows with the dream to be married after reaching the right age and thus there are ample of harsh realities, no one will tell you probably because they want you to succeed. Here are certain things, from 100’s and 1000’s of struggles; one has to face to have a successful married life:
It’s definitely not a fairytale, the way it looks like
The heat, the lust and the sexuality are just limited to initial few months.
All the charm and rosiness of the relationship takes you away from the reality. Real life after marriage is not shown in the movies.
If you aren’t taking care of everything, you are not a good woman
Once you are married, your only motive should be to spend maximum of your time at home, taking care of everything. Staying away from home makes you a bad person.
Your parents are your parents, someone else parents can’t be your parents
It is taught since childhood that after marriage, girls must consider their husband’s parents as theirs but trust a fact that it’s never going to happen ever in life. They can’t replace their daughter with you and so can’t you replace them with your parents. Plain & simple!
Ask for it or not, household responsibilities are a woman’s responsibility
No matter how much your husband tells you about how much he’ll be helping your out after marriage, bear this is in mind that the burden is totally coming on your shoulder. May be because they don’t care so they don’t bother. They would find time for Netflix or Pub-G but not for this.
Don’t want a kid? Not your choice, they’ll decide if you should or not
Rather you would be asked to have a kid, right on the next day you got married. Because you can reproduce, it’s accepted in an unsaid way, that you would.
Divorces are not normal but extra-marital affairs are
If you can’t be with them, you can go to someone outside the marriage but leaving the person is out of question. Why? Because shush… what would people think about! Isn’t it sad? And of-course, the rule applies for the men. You may live being separated for years but can’t leave each other.
The so-called gifting system doesn’t end at the marriage, it continues for life
This can be seen in most Punjabi families only. Even today, the girl’s parents are under huge pressure to keep gifting the groom’s family who might not ask for it but would expect, deep inside.
Women spending their salaries is like way too bad
Urban women and even men would not feel it wrong but if the people around find out that the lady is shedding all her money out, it’s like the most disgusting thing they have ever seen.
Once you have kid, motherhood should to be your only option
People do not understand a woman can also dream about achieving something in life. After having a kid, she is expected to focus all her attention in raising the kid.
If you don’t like to cook, you would be highly judged
It’s not necessary that ever woman like to cook. But if she is not cooking or if she is not cooking right, she’d be a target for many.
Rule of equality is away from the money making rule for men
It might be acceptable to the wife and the husband but the society is way far from accepting the fact that a man too can have dreams of their own and may be for once, they should be given a chance to leave their job and do what they want to do in life.
Don’t expect your in-laws to believe in your dreams.
If you are really willing to achieve, forget about those who can’t understand and follow your dream. If you aren’t serious about it, no one else will be.
Do whatever, it’s never enough for your in laws
You would be struggling to get up early morning to cook before you go for work but you might hear them say “why do you need to go” or “get up early” etc etc. Your extra mile efforts would mean nothing to them. That’s how it is.
Some of these things might be true in some case, and some in other cases but these are pretty much a lot of events, one has to go through after getting married. Well, marriage is not bad at all but you will have to take your lead, your way. Accept certain things, ignore a few and it will be a great marriage to go a long way.
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